Children of Abuse, Neglect...

This is a subject that has been weighing heavy on my mind for some time. I wanted to right about it before, but knew it wasn't the right time, now it is. I've been mulling this over all day with how to approach this subject. There really is no easy way, no easy words, just cold, hard facts. This will come across as harsh for some, but if so, perhaps it's telling you to sit back and really take a close look at your life. It will hit home for some, and I pray it does some good. If it changes the life of just one child, then it's done some good, but hopefully it will change the lives of many children; for children truly are a gift to all.

I ask myself, where did we go wrong with our children? Where did we fail them, and then I'm reminded that something has transpired between now and then. Some parents of today have turned their worlds upside down. Note; I had started to say all, but not all are this way, many have kept the values they were taught, and learned from their parents mistakes. But some...they are lost.

I've seen where children are living in filth, not being fed properly, being neglected, verbally and/or physically abused, being treated like an object and not a human being. I've seen kids given everything they want, apparently to make them feel wanted and loved. I've seen kids that are told, "Oh I love you so much, you mean everything to me," and then turn around and yell at them, turn away from them, and expect them to fend for themselves. Kids that are expected to show respect, but receive very little to none. The list goes on and one. Kids that are left to fend for themselves, feel neglected and rejected, but keep loving their parents, as they don't know any better. They try to cry out their fears and their hurts, only to be ignored, as their hurts and "real" needs aren't important.

What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong is parents are so wrapped up in themselves with they work, and are tired, don't feel good, etc. etc. They feel sorry for themselves and just don't have time to provide for and give their children what they need. "Clean my house! I don't have time!" "Spend time with my kids, work on their homework with them, play with them, I don't have the energy, I'm tired, I don't feel good, you just don't understand!" I've heard it all, and I'm tired of hearing it.

It seems that some today are expecting to have the world handed to them on a silver platter. I work, and just don't have the time. Let me tell you, we have been there done that. We worked, and many of us hard jobs with less pay that what you all get today, and we still managed to do things with our kids, we still provided for them, we still gave them a "safe and clean" environment even though we were tired, hurting, and not feeling good. Wake up! Quit feeling sorry for yourselves! You have children; you chose to have them, they didn't chose you; they didn't chose to be brought into the world.

Take the responsibility that was given you. Appreciate the fact that you have these gifts that were given you to be nurtured, loved, guided and taught by you. If you can't live up to "your" responsibilities, you don't want to provide what the children need, then I ask you, please give them to someone that will give them what they need.

Now don't get me wrong, there is no "perfect" parent, and there never will be. That is impossible. I made mistakes as a parent, and wish I had done some things differently, but; I did give my kids "love," I did show them the respect I expected from them. I did teach and nurture them. I know some of my family feels I spoiled my kids; what they didn't see is that they were expected to earn their things, when they were old enough to work, the things they "wanted" they had to work for, the things they needed, we provided. We didn't give them what ever they wanted. They grew up learning to respect things, and that money did not grow on trees.

I'm so tired of hearing from some, "You made the same mistakes!" Excuse me, we were to learn from our parents mistakes and made sure we didn't repeat them with you. You were to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. It's not a reason to make excuses. Ask yourselves; did your parents love on you? Did you parents help you learn and provide the materials for you to learn? Did your parents make sure you were taken care of and provided for, made sure you were properly clothed, kept safe, fed, and given a clean environment? Are you doing the same for your kids? If not, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your family life. If you can't make it work, ask for help or get your children out of there and put them where they will receive it. Your children aren't toys or objects, they are precious gifts who rely on you for guidance, safety, love, and provision. Not to be treated as inanimate objects to be brought out when you "feel like" taking time for them and then putting them aside when you don't want to deal with them.

As for provision, are you providing your children their needs first, then yours and then for the wants? Or are you giving, giving, giving, wants to you all and then the needs, necessities if there is enough to do so? Your children should be provided for their "needs" first, then yours met, then if there is enough the wants, provided you are putting some of that away for those times when emergencies arise.

Further more, your parents aren't your endless bank account. They aren't there to pick up after you, taking care of your needs so you can have your fun and take care of your wants. Your parents aren't there to be treated with disrespect, to be taken advantage of, to be treated like they are just there to do what "you" want them to do. Show them respect, show them you love them. When was the last time you took the time to really show your parents you love them? And I'm not just talking words; I'm talking genuine, quality time spent with them. Words are just that. Actions speak volumes, words can just roll off.

Get rid of that attitude, my parents can get this for me, they can do that for me, oh why should I worry about this or that, mom & dad can take care of it. Well this or that is broken, mom and dad can get it for us. Don't be surprised if some day your parents don't wake up to it and stop that endless bank account. Not because they don't love you, but because they do, and it's time to do the tough love. Parents love doing things for their kids, but like you, have feelings too, and can only put up with being taken for granted for so long. Don't expect them to do the raising of your children and providing the children the nurturing they need. It doesn't work that way. They need it from you too, more so than from grandma and grandpa, uncle and auntie, etc. They need it more from their parents than any one else.

If your children are acting out, throwing tantrums, talking back, being mean to their siblings, shutting themselves out from the family, abnormally quite, anxious, etc. then step back, seriously analyze your family life with an open, honest mind and ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to provide your child/children fully what they need. Don't endow them with gifts, things they want thinking that will fill the void, you are only hurting them. Your far from helping them. If you have the mindset, "well I'll give them what ever they want and when they grow up and move out, that's when they will learn that life isn't so easy." What is that??? That is setting your children up for failure. Is that really what you want for your children? Were you treated that way? If so, then change it with your children as you know what it feels like. You know it doesn't work. If you are struggling financially because of previous mistakes, take action and do something about it. Get help.

What this article all boils down to is a request for parents of today to wake up; give your children what they need and deserve. It's not just about you, your needs, your wants, it's about your family, as a unit. Those kids rely on you, they can't fend for themselves. Quit expecting them to be little adults. Quit thinking that just because you give them something it shows them you love them. If your child is depressed, sick, unruly, angry, etc, they are telling you something. Don't ignore it. If this article has struck a nerve with you, then it's probably because the truth hurts and perhaps it's time for you to sit back and be honest with yourself.

This article is written in defense of those young ones out there needing a better home life, needing their parents to grow up and be a parent. A voice for children to their parents to please love them the way they deserve to be loved, to provide for them the things they "need" not with objects to try to fill the void, for them to live in clean environments, not in disease ridden homes. If you can't provide for your children a clean safe environment, then seek help immediately! May we provide for our children giving them the love and happiness they so deserve. They are a precious gift to be cared for. Praying for families to unite as one, once again.

LOVE, PROVIDE, KEEP SAFE all the children of the world. For those of you out there that witness this sort of wrong doing going on with children, please act on it. Please make sure these kids are given what they deserve. My husband & I are going to start taking action from now on when we see children being mistreated. They don't deserve that. They deserve to be loved, nurtured, taught and guided. Let's show the children of the world, They Do Matter!

Revelation

Tonight while watching the news, there was report of a seven year old boy who was kept behind a false wall by his grandmother and mother. Turns out the news report was different than the one on-line, so not sure what the whole story is. I was instantly upset, as mistreatment of kids just makes my blood boil. Then I started thinking of the family that lives behind us. That's all I'll say, as anything else would be just accusations. I have only sound to go on. My point is, there are so many children that are abused, be if physical, verbal, and/or sexual. I don't understand it at all.
We were eating at the time we heard the report. I sat there thinking of how I wish I could go all over the nation/world and check on all children and remove those that are being abused and place them in safe homes. Children's advocates are so overwhelmed that many cases are being swept under the rug. Yes, I know this for a fact. My litter sister while going after custody of her grand daughters was told so by the agency. So sad. So very sad.
But while thinking of this--I love how He talks to us--He told me, "I am here to take care of the children, but it's on my time." I realized that when it hit me that the boy was found and rescued, and how so many other children are found and rescued. So instead of worrying, being upset and angry (which is what God doesn't want us to do), I realized that it's important to pray even harder and more often. Then hubby told me to read:
Revelation 21:4 (CSB)
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.
They may not be saved while on earth. They may be taken early, which none of us want to see, but I do know one thing, if their suffering is not going to end here, then take them young so they won't have to suffer any more. I also realize now that God will take care of those that harm children, in His time.
Pray for all the children out there that are treated in a wrong way, that they may find peace. Pray for the parents or whom ever may be doing the damage will be reprimanded and hopefully brought to the Lord to be saved. People can change. I've heard so many times, that person is so rotten to the bone, he/she will never change. Never say never, as with Him all things are possible. Remember a previous post on love they enemy. I pray for release of all harm on children that they no longer are abused.

Driving

Today while driving, a piece for posting came to mind. Of course I think about this issue everytime I'm on the road, but it hit me to write about it today.

Have you heard the song, "In a Hurry" I think that's the title any how, by Alabama? Well some of the words are as follows:

"I'm in a hurry to get things done;
Oh I rush and rush until lifes no fun.
All I really gotta do is live and die;
I'm in a hurry and don't know why."

I think of this very thing when I see people rushing, darting in and out of traffic in a hurry. Or when people tailgate, often times even when they have time and room to go around you while on the freeway (very frustrating). I've been fighting my need to yell and distort my face when these people do this--especially when the children are in the car--wondering why they take chances on near accidents. I now try to pray that the Lord guides them and wakes them up to the dangers.

I often think about what I would do if someone caused an accident while I have the kids in the car. Then I remind myself that I have to set an example. I have to admit, it kind of scares me to think of my reaction should one of my grand children be injured due to neglence. I pray the Lord will give the sanity to stay as calm as possible and let Him deal with their ignorance. Being put in jail would not do the kids one bit of good--and no, I'm not a violent person--a protective mother hen, yes. :) LOL

I've had so many near misses lately. People cutting over trying to get one or two more vehicles ahead. Just yesterday where we had plenty of notice to merge to the left due to a lane being blocked for construction, a vehicle came flying up and got over just in time. Yes, I reacted and laid on the horn. He looked at me enough to say, What? Then I prayed. That's a first. I drive my son, daughter, & husband up a wall. Sometimes the grand kids will say, "Omah, you need to take a deep breath!" Awe, the innocence of babes. Gotta love it. Then I'll calm down.

What am I driving at? Those of us being confronted by people not taking the time to think about their actions and driving neglently, we need to be praying for enlightenment for them and safer roads to drive on,and do away with our road rage. Those that are driving neglegently, slow down! Give yourself time to get to where you need to be rather than rushing, taking the chance with others lives and yours. Have you ever thought about what it would do to you mentally should you take a childs life or severely injure them, what it might do to them mentally? Let's all practice more patience. Oh, but don't forget, do not pray for patience. :) Believe me, I learnt that lesson the hard way. LOL!

Besides, rushing and impatience is only going to give you heartburn, or ulcers, or trips to the doctor, or worse to the ER for a heart attack, even worse, six feet underground. The more you get upset--and yes, I know I need to think about this with getting angry with crazy drivers--the more damage you are doing to your heart. Is is worth it? No way! Enjoy life, make the best of it, slow down, enjoy the views, save a life!