Okay, I know I already posted today, but just had to add this. I am so full of so many emotions right now. I am so filled and over flowing that sleep is not going to come onto me for ours I think. It's what ever His plan is for me. He is just filling me with so much today!!! As I was visiting the last person tonight, I felt compelled to share. I didn't get far on visiting, but I know to obey when told to do so. So, I will get back to visit tomorrow night.
Wow! Where to begin. I had posted about struggles and all and where I was led. I thought the battle was over, but it had basically just come to a head and I wasn't ready for it. For some reason, I knew something still wasn't just right, but tried to ignore it. Thought it was just the after effects. That afternoon--day after my testimonial post--I became overwhelmed with emotion. I was weepy, confused, just didn't know what to do. I took a shower and then realized, I needed to get on my knees and pray.
I knelt down and just poured my heart out, pleaing for release of what ever had a stranglehold on me. Repented again for all I have and recently done. It was then that He told me what could have happened from my actions. Then told me not to worry, to have faith, He would take care of it. Although what I had done was not that big of a deal, to me it was horrible. I couldn't let it go. Then all types of things came at me, and I continued to pray, the tears dried up for the most part, and I just knelt there, listening, praying, listening, praying and then knew it was time to quit.
I then finished getting dressed and ready and went out and sat and talked with hubby explaining everything that had been going on. Now this was a shock to me. I realized while talking to hubby that I had allowed myself to become a bitter, angry woman. Huh??? I didn't even realize it. How could that happen without my knowing.
While I was praying, I had this vision of rays of light coming down to me, then something dark came up at it and the rays left, then they came back and the same thing, then they came back and there was a struggle with the light and the dark. Then it hit me. Something evil had ahold of me and the angels were fighting to save me. So my prayer became authoritive and I commanded what ever had ahold of me to leave that instant among other things. Well it wouldn't leave completely, but had dissapated some.
I explained to hubby what I had witnessed and told him I was doing battle with the enemy and needed prayer. This explained being naseous for over a week, being so wishy washy, irresponsible, you name it, I was out of control and couldn't understand why. Whew! Praise God for being so faithful. He never gave up on me, and He rescued me.
The following day after explaining all this to hubby, a song came to me and has been with me ever since. "I've Been Changed." I think it's Ernie Hause and Signature sound that does this, but not for sure. I will find out tomorrow and try to post it. But part of the words are:
I've been changed.
I've been changed.
I've been forgiven, nothing's the same.
All of my past has been erased.
Nothing ahead but amazing grace.
That might explain the look on my face.
I've been changed.
To hear this sung is just beautiful. It just gives the song much more feeling. But aren't those beautiful words. Satan's strangle hold on me is no more. I've been set free. I've been forgiven. I've been saved by God's amazing Grace! Thank You Father, Thank You Jesus, Thank You Holy Spirit!!! I've been released and am now over flowing. I will share tomorrow all that has since transpired. It just keeps getting better. It is so nice not to have that ton of bricks riding around on my shoulders. Even the fear for my grand children is gone!!! Hallelujah. I will explain all that tomorrow as well.
May God pour out all His blessings upon you all. May He guide and lead you and show His great mercy. Love and Blessings to all!