Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Gift

Wow! When we recieve an enlightenment it can sometimes make you go hmmm. Tonight, it is Wow! It's geting a bit late, and I need to be up to get the chillin's in the morning and go to church, but after reading a chapter in the book and doing the chapter in the work book, I felt compelled to share.

I'm reading a book for our small group called Nurture by Lisa Bevere. I read the True Measure of a Woman before this and can not wait to read more of her books. I had also attended her Beauty Redefined Conference. I have never felt a strong connection to anyone before like I did to her then. It was as though I was sitting there listening to someone else speak of my life. Our lives run so parrallel to one anothers it was shocking yet a good feeling.

Any way, about the book and enlightenment. One of the questions in the work book was to write your life as to what our gift(s) are, or rather our calling God has for us. When I had done the gifts section with Capitol Christian Center; it showed my gifts as Shepparding/Pastoring as #1 with a high score, then healing. I honestly laughed and thought, there is no way, me a healer, yeah right. You see, I was seeing healing as physical, nothing more. Now helper I could see being a gift. I've always had a heart for helping people no matter the situation which has gotten me in trouble before. Helper was low on the list.

But then it hit me as I was sitting there writing it out--that is while the Lord was guinding my hand--that healing is my calling. He tried to tell me this a while back, but I was of the flesh then. I believed, I occasionally prayed, I talked to Him once in awhile, begged Him to make my husband a believer, talked to my kids extensively about God, but that was it. I was an alcoholic, had a bad mouth on occasion, done things that was not Christian by any means.

When our kids were teens, they would bring several of their friends to the house, which was fine by me that way I knew where they were and what they were doing. I learned a lot about many of them. We would sit up for hours on the weekends talking about everything and anything. They felt safe and secure and knew they would not be judged nor would what they told me go any further than in the confines of the walls. Many called me mom.

There was one girl in particular that my heart still breaks for. You see, she had a single mom that would tell her over and over again how she hated girls. She wished her daughter had been a boy as they were much easier to raise. One night the young girl came to me crying; begging me to take her in, to be her mom, to adopt her. She begged me not to send her home. Her mother came for her, she was crying, mom was yelling, and dragged her off. A couple of years later, the girl was gone. Her suffering was over, but I couldn't help but wonder, what would have happened if I had taken her in. You see, her mother let her marry at the age 14 if I remember right, maybe 15 or 16. I was angry with her mother for allowing that. She had gotten in an argument with her husband, took off in the pickup with her beloved dog, hit some soft sand and rolled the truck. The truck landed on top of her. Why? That was all I could ask. My heart was broken. Such a beautiful, fibrant, full of life, beautiful young daughter, her life taken just like that. Come to find out, she was pregnant too. Two lives lost.

Today I know to cast all my worries and fears up to the Lord, but sometimes it still comes back to me, what if I had taken her in, would she still be here today? Probably not. There is a time, a reason and season for all. When the Almighty Father decides it's time for us to go home, we're going. It was her time. I'm glad her suffering is over, but still, I failed to do what God had planned for me and that was to heal. I wasn't ready then, but I am now. He is guiding me and opening windows and doors left and right all of a sudden.

What I've learned is, it's all on God's time. Boy, where have I heard that before? Many times Pastor Ken talked of this, and I thought I fully understood that. Ha, not by a long shot. I love growing in the Lord. I love learning, and now know not to rush it. When He feels we're ready to learn more, when He feels we are ready to take on more, is when it will happen. I've been watching this happen with my little sister. I am by the way the oldest of three girls. The other two are seven and nine years younger. I was more of a mother to them than a sister until we became adults. Both our parents worked. I took care of the girls and the house.

Any way, getting off track here. Healing is all aspects. Many are lost, confused, hurting inside, needing nurturing, understanding, and healing. There are people in my own family that are in great need of healing. There are others that are out there in the same need. It's time to open the eyes, look and listen for them, and then follow through with where the Lord leads us.

So when you recieve your gift(s), don't laugh it off. Listen to what He is telling you. Follow through. Take the time to learn what that gift(s) is. I sure wish I had listened sooner, but grateful to have a better understanding and am ready to learn and carry out my calling. Oh and healing and helping as He so well pointed out goes hand in hand. He said, "I know you have a heart for helping people, but I need you to take and use that to heal others. This is what my plan for you is." How cool is that?! God is good, so so good. How did I ever make it without Him? Well that's simple, He was always there, I just never let Him in. Thank God He never leaves us, He never gives up on us. All I can say is; Jesus bring the rain. I'm yours! Take me! Here I am! And most of all Thank You Father, Thank You Jesus, Thank You Holy Spirit! Thank you for never giving up, Thank you for always being there. Thank you for your guidance, you voice, your kindness, your gentleness, for everything! I love you! I keep hearing the words and seeing them; For God So Loved The Little Children. Amen! I love you brothers and sisters, may God Bless you all!

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