It has been two and a half years now since my hubby, son & I have given our lives to the Lord. My only wish is that we had done it sooner. As I had stated in an earlier post, I had given myself to Him as a child, but strayed when I turned 16. I owe my walk with Him to my paternal grandmother. She was a blessing in my life big time.
Anyway, joining the military I became an alcoholic big time. One year later I met hubby. He too was an alcoholic. One year later we are married and have a child. This is when our lives became very unstable. Our marriage was like a roller coaster. Hubby was hardly home. I poured my life into our children. 15 months after our son was born we had a daughter.
Hubby's drinking was out of control. I had settled down quite a bit worrying about the kids, but was still drinking way too much. It only took one drink then I wanted more and more. What kind of life was this for kids.
There is only one good thing about this time period, I did tell the kids about Jesus, pushed them to believe and hold onto that faith. I tried on Mother's day one year to get us involved in church. That was the only time we went. Hubby wasn't having anything to do with it.
See hubby lost his mom to cancer at the age of 10. This done a number on his whole family. Hubby felt there was no way there could be a God to take his mother from him. I prayed and prayed that somehow, someway he would be shown the light and saved. God is faithful!
So for 25 years our lives went on like this. Hubby doing his thing, I doing mine. I was very family until I had to go back to work. This happened during our kids teen years, so they had very little supervision. Not good plus the fact that their parents were alcohoics. What a sad and dangerous mixture.
We almost lost our son at one point. We had in a sense given up with him, thinking that he was a child lashing out and giving up. Come to find out, he had some serious mental disorders. This is where life tried to turn itself around, but to no avail. It worked for a short time. Year 22 of marriage, our marriage bottomed out. Hubby left us for someone else. Blaimed it all on me. He was right in some degrees, but as the saying goes, "it takes two to make or break a marriage is so true." We were both at fault with the problems.
This is when I found out that I'm bi-polar (mild end thank heavens). I finally got on some medication and started to turn my life around. I didn't give up on hubby, as for some reason I just knew I couldn't let go despite what had happened. I went off the deep end for a bit, drank my meals, didn't care about much at all, and then had an affair myself. I hated myself for it once I woke up. How could I do that when it went against every moral being in myself. I knew it was wrong. That is when I thought I was doomed. There was no way I could make it to heaven after that.
After a year of seperation, hubby & I reunited. We moved to Boise from Mountain Home. We became closer than we had ever been. We poured ourselves into our grand kids. But, we were still drinking heavily on weekends only finally. A year later we moved to Meridian. Our son & I started going to church off an on. It felt good to be back there. I quit smoking and drinking. One month later, hubby and son done the same. Then our son presented us with the Purpose Driven Life books and we studied that together.
The miracle that happened next was unbelievable. We all three became very engrossed in the book. We couldn't read it fast enough. We were taken in by it's very words and wanted to get to know the Lord better. We started working on trying to get hubby to go to church. He felt he needed to learn more first. So he kept reading the Bible and studying.
At one point during the study of the book when everyone had gone to bed, I prayed and then sat quietly. All of sudden I felt hands on my shoulders. At first I jumped and thenrealized that Jesus was holding me. Oh what a feeling. Next He took my hands in His. I cried and he rocked me. I knew then that I was forgiven. How awesome is that? All I had to do is follow His word and repent of my sins and He took me in. How could that happen after committing one of the worst sins possible?
Before long hubby announced that he found a church he wanted to try. So we went to Capitol Christian Center. This has become our home. We love it there. Our Pastors are amazing. We have a good family there. We soon became involved with volunteering. Who would have ever thought?
Ever since then, our marriage has become so strong. I'm amazed everyday by the work God is doing in hubby's life. He has done a complete turn around. Of course this would not have happened had we not given ourselves to the Lord. I don't think our marriage had ever been this strong, nor were we ever this happy with one another.
Hubby now has all the patience in the world with our kids and the grand kids. He's been a blessing beyond blessings. I've never known him to show emotion until these past couple of years. You can just see the pride in him for our kids and the grandkids. He has been so loving, patient, understanding, you name it. I couldn't ask for a better man.
As you can see, accepting the Lord into your lives can work miracles. Hubby keeps asking me what ever possessed me to never give up on him. I keep telling him that I just knew there was a good man lost inside that body. He says he doesn't deserve me and I laugh, and remind him that we are of the flesh, and we all mess up, some worse than others. That I'm just thankful that we finally found our way to Him. Now our lives are complete!
So I pray that those that do not know Him, come to Him. As life without the Lord is empty. It's nothing but pain and sorrow without Him. Since giving ourselves to the Lord, we have met so many wonderful real, true friends. We have found peace and love with one another. We are armed with the armor of God!
Does Satan try to get us to slip up and go astray, oh yeah. The more we learn and the closer our walk with the Lord, the harder he tries. He attacks the ones that are close and endearing to us. It's hard to watch, but we have learned so much and have learned to rebuke the enemy. We have the opportunity to teach our grandkids the same path. They love it! Our oldest grand daughter craves learning about God and Jesus. How cool is that?! I could never imagine going back to our old ways. We used to think we were having fun. Ha! That's a joke. Looking back, it was nothing but pain and ugliness.
Praise God for His Faithfulness!